Why I Am Different

In order to fully embrace one's uniqueness, one has to understand it.         -Aish.com

I used to ask "Why am I different?"  I never really understood.  I could never exactly decide or determine what it was that set me apart from my peers.  It was extremely rare that I felt a part of any "group".  I did have a group of friends, but I didn't really fit in with a crowd.  After 30 years I have realized that I don't think I want to belong in a crowd or a group.  A wiser person than me (Erykah Badu) said "Momma said pick your friends like you pick your fruit", and I realize that I have done just that.  I have carefully selected my friends over the years, and continue to do so to this day.  I am always making new friends wherever I go, and each one of my friends is unique.  Each has his or her own special gift that attracts my friendship.  I have unique relationships with each and every friend.  None of my relationships are exactly alike.  With each friend I share either an inside joke, a routine, a custom or saying that has originated between the two of us.  Together, and before anyone else, this belongs to us.  Some of these have managed to grow, and are picked up and adopted by other friends through mutual association, and others are not.  But this still does not explain why I feel I am different from everyone else.  I don't know if I will ever know or understand the reason for my feelings, but I have given up worrying about it.  Now that I know that I am SOMEHOW different, I embrace it, and turn it to work against itself.  Instead of asking "Why am I different?", I now say "This is why I am different".  This affirmation allows me to list all of my positive (and negative) characteristics and traits.  There really is no sense wondering the why of this question.  It will not change anything.  I have found it much more helpful for me to recognize my difference, and make the best of what I have to work with.  

If asking the "why", then could I have been sent here to somehow inspire others? 

It could be that I have an uncanny ability to judge a person extremely quickly and accurately.  Often within several minutes of our first conversation.  Obviously not every person every time, but much more often than not.  I only share my opinions when asked.  I noticed this ability many years ago, and when I have shared my thoughts with friends, they have been utterly amazed at my accuracy.  Even when "everyone" but me is totally convinced about a certain person, it has happened that weeks, months, or even years later people have said to me "You were 100% right about that person".  I'm not really a new-age type, but I know what I have experienced. IF people do have an aura, I can read it. With some people I have met I could tell from our very first meeting that we had a connection that was unexplainable. There people have become my closest friends. Even if I've only known them a relatively short time. Some people in my life, from the very first time I looked into their eyes I felt as though I could see directly into their soul. With some friends, our relationships have developed as most do, over time. With others there has been something much more profound.