Many times during my public school days I would be sent to play with some sort of specialist teacher. Games like tossing a beanbag into a hoop. Not a bad deal, but I didn't really understand the relevance to a child in Grade 6. These were games for toddlers. Granted, I never was keen on sitting at a desk for 5 hours a day, but why not give me something more challenging? I felt as though I was just humouring the "specialist". The games did not interest me at all. I was almost as bored playing in the hall as I was sitting at my desk. What exactly were they testing me for? What were their guesses about me, and what were their subsequent conclusions? I always felt as though I was somehow different from my peers, but I could never place why, how, or precisely what it was that set me apart from the rest of the group. I still feel this way today. I do have my own group, but it has been handpicked over many years. I know now that this is far better than belonging to a mass, but during my early formative years it was very difficult. I often felt alienated from my peers. I am now an adult, living an adult life, with adult friends. I still encounter some difficulty relating to my peers on an adult level. I feel as though I still think like a child in many respects. While this ability has aided my work with children, it has proven a hurdle in daily mature interactions.
BUT I have also discovered my gift. It's the ability to make people feel good. I try to alleviate the tension in tense situations, I add humour to the boring and dull, and I add personality to everything I do. It's a form of dazzling. Everyone who has truly gotten to know me, loves me.